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Has everybody seen the new Harry Potter movie? We went to see it on opening night and the air conditioning couldn't keep up with all the people inside. It was 100 degrees outside so this pregnant woman was pretty miserable.
About the movie-- well, it was my least favorite book and the movie didn't really impress me that much, either. I wanted more magic and more creatures and less teen-age angst and pubescent anger on the part of Harry Potter. Still love that kid, though.
This week, I am 33 weeks pregnant and I am having a hell of a time concentrating on anything. I still have 7 weeks until my official due date and because this is my first child and the pregnancy has gone well so far (knock on wood), I don't expect to be in labor until on or after my due date.
I have cleared my schedule for the last two weeks of my pregnancy so I can do laundry and get the house ready and basically wait to go into labor. By the way, I'm also planning on scheduling all sorts of things those weeks--like lunch with friends, a hair cut and a pedicure--in hopes that all my appointments will jinx me and I'll go into labor instead.
So... that gives me 5 more weeks of being productive. Except, I am not being productive at all. I just moved out of my office downtown and into a home office. I used to be terrible at working from home, but I don't think that's even this issue this time. I'm not constantly visiting the refrigerator like last time and I don't watch television during the day like last time. I'm on the computer... but my mind is also elsewhere.
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The baby is kicking and moving A LOT lately and whenever she does, I find myself drifting off to daydreaming land. I wonder what my labor is going to be like and I go through a bunch of scenarios in my head--none of them scary, by the way, because I am much more comfortable with labor and delivery after having taken the childbirth preparation class at my hospital.
Anyway, I wonder what kind of baby she's going to be like. Will she be high maintenance? Will I have to wake her up to eat because she sleeps so much? Will she be a big crier? Will she have colic? Will she like the sling? Or swaddling? Will she be prone to diaper rash? Will she have to be in someone's arms in order to sleep?
And then I start wondering what she'll look like. Will she get my nose? My husband's eyes and chin? How big of a baby is she going to be?
And then I start to think farther ahead in her lifetime... at six months, will she be a goofy kid? And what about when she's 3 years old or 6 years old? Will she be daddy's girl (I think we're pretty much guaranteed that she will be).
So... I go through all of this stuff and imagine all sorts of things and then I realize that 45 minutes have passed and I've been sitting here with a glazed-over expression on my face.
To attack this daydreaming phase I am in... I have been making myself go for a walk each morning. And I create a To Do list for myself, but the funny thing is that I don't really care if I cross stuff off. I've got 3 major projects due before she's born and I'm dawdling on all of them!
Today, I finally accomplished quite a bit on those projects, although there's nothing tangible yet. At least they're moving along. I have other responsibilities, too, that so far I have not shirked. I write for this website, of course, and I also write for TV Squad so I have been able to keep up with those. I'm definitely not going to put anything else on my plate because my brain barely wants to accomplish the things I need to accomplish.
All this daydreaming leads me to wonder whether I'm ready to have her. I have to say 'no, not yet'. I do have things I want to accomplish and our house is not yet ready for a newborn baby. Plus, she'd be a preemie and I'd like her to get nice and fat over the next few weeks first.
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Anna Johns is a blogger, podcaster and mother living in rainy Portland, Oregon.
Mother Popper is a daily blog and weekly podcast bridging the worlds of parenting and pop culture.
What you don't realise is the daydreaming, lost thoughts, and confused reflection are important tasks. Thinking such thoughts is what sees you through all those years and year of parenting: is this the right kindergarten, should I give her medicine if her fever doesn't go down, why is she hitting Johny all the time, OMG she can't be off to college all ready. To-do lists are good, but daydreams are much much more important.