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During the first three months of her life, I always found it odd when people would ask me how Elliot was sleeping. I'd always give a confused look to the questioner because she was a newborn and, of course, she was up every two hours to nurse.
Now she's 3 months and 3 weeks old, and I'm starting to think about sleep. I honestly don't mind getting up to feed her but I also have to admit that I am feeling pretty tired. I've got dark circles under my eyes that may not be hidden by concealer. One of the baby updates I get from BabyCenter.com says that "most" kids Elliot's age are sleeping six-hour stretches at night. Elliot is not. It is about once a month that she goes for six hours straight. Usually she'll sleep for four hours during the first stretch and then 2-3 hours for the next two stretches.
Elliot falls asleep on the breast at about 8 pm every night. I swaddle her and put her in the bassinet in the Pack 'n Play in our bedroom. She usually lasts in the Pack 'n Play until 5 or 6 am, when I bring her into bed with us. She's teething right now so she's up every two hours and can't sleep very well in her Pack 'n Play so she has been spending most of the nights in bed with us.
I honestly haven't considered trying to make any changes because I figure that she'll start sleeping through the night when she's ready. And I don't think it does us any good if we push her to do something that she's not ready to do. But I know there are all sorts of books out there that have tips for encouraging an infant to sleep for longer stretches at night.
So far I'm interested in The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears. I tend to agree with a lot of his parenting theories and I think The Baby Book is an indispensable resource about Elliot's development.
Also, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley has a lot of positive reviews on Amazon.com. However, the author also posts "tips" on Amazon and they all kind of annoy me. She seems like the kind of pediatrician or child expert who wants everyone to get a trophy for participating and is partially responsible for creating the Millennial Generation.
The Ferber method is not something I can consider at this point.
I don't think I'm ready to try these strategies--at least not until after the New Year--but I am ready to start investigating.
Do you have any recommendations or tips for helping a baby sleep longer at night? Or, should I just leave it alone?
At 7 1/2 months old, we're hitting more problems. I didn't mind waking up before, but now it's getting bad. I think it is the separation anxiety. David wakes up constantly over and over (every 15 minutes or so) and just wants to be held.
Never believe those books ... everyone I talk to says that their babies did not sleep through the night (except the rare few who just have kids who are good sleepers).
I'm going to start trying the Dr. Sears method, but after the holidays - too much going on right now. David gets worse when we let him cry, so I don't think Ferber would work (though you never know ... we'll see how it goes).
Ultimately though, kids learn to sleep on their own. It's just a matter or earlier or later.
I read something interesting comparing Sears to Ferber. Sleep training always involves time and tears. Sears takes more time and less tears. Ferber takes less time and more tears. It comes down to which one makes you comfortable - are you willing to suffer longer with less tears? Or do you need to nip it in the bud really fast?
All I can say is that Ferber gives me tears too! I couldn't even consider it. We had friends that did it with their little one (4 months) and it broke my heart to hear him cry. I couldn't do it. If Allee cried for too long, I always went to back to soothe her. And....I don't regret it. She didn't become one that needed us to fall asleep. (18 months) We used to let her fall asleep in our arms for a long time and loved the cuddle time. We miss it actually.
It seems like she was around the 3.5 to 4 month mark before she had a substantial sleep stretch. And....I remember that just when we got used to it, it changed. I felt like I didn't really sleep for the 1st year or so, but now, things are good. It is all worth it....bags under the eyes and all. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and what makes little Elliot happy.
>> http://www.askmoxie.org/sleep
I like the info on here too ... if your child releases tension from crying, then 'cry it out' will work. If they gain tension from crying, then you have to find another way to get them to sleep ... That makes a lot of sense to me
Is it terrible to admit that I never read one book about sleep? I'm a believer that most kids work it out. Just try to get them to go to sleep on their own by age 4 months in their own bed(before then, they can't tie sleep cycles together anyway). And try to minimize nighttime feedings. Katherine did much better with a quick bottle from Daddy than nursing and having an all night smorgesboard on the boob with Mommy.
We were fortunate to have an infant who slept extremely well. All that went to pot around 6 months when we had a horrible week of fevers and all night marathon feedings. That was followed by the disruption of Christmas and a couple of trips that had her sleeping (poorly) in a pack N Play. The next thing we knew we had a 9 month old who would go down to be fine and sleep for about 4 hours before she woke up a 3am and would only sleep if Andy snuggled in the twin bed in her room with her. After a couple weeks of this, I felt we were destined for a bad episode of Nanny 911 where Katherine was still sleeping with her Daddy at age 5. So one night we decided just to let her cry. It was a horrible 45 minutes and I almost broke, but then all of the sudden, she was asleep. The next night she woke up with a wimper and self-soothed back to sleep. The following night she slept through the night. That's what worked for us.
http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
I think that the above is worth looking at when considering different methods of raising children, especially when it comes to the challenges of sleep (and I know them well, with an almost nine month old who has been teething off and on since four months...).
Good luck and sweet dreams!
Hi,
My son slept through the night from about four months with only a couple of hiccups. He's always slept in his crib in his room, so that meant lots of nursing time in the glider for me.
Take heart, I don't think he was ready to sleep through the night until then (4 months) and then napping was a whole other matter.
We had nap boot camp at about 6 months where I stayed home for a whole week (hard for me since I stay in the road) and we worked on a morning and afternoon nap. The morning nap in the crib worked first after much crying and then the afternoon nap became regular at about 8 months.
My favorite book was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It kind of goes through all the methods and then lets you decide what you want to do. It's really big on the early bedtime (which I love, gives a little snuggle time for me and Hubby).
Good luck!
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Not that I have much experience to draw on, but it seems that babies sleep how they sleep. Eric and I lucked out and got one that slept through the night starting at two months (for which I thank heaven every morning), but we had so many problems with feeding. It seems like some babies have one thing they do well and sleeping is ours! I am not a Dr. Sears person (he seems sexist to me) but have heard the sleep book is basically just the sleep parts of the Baby Book. I have Elizabeth Pantly's book and it's okay--not like the tips on Amazon. Email me your address and I can mail it to you if you'd like since we don't need it. The only two recommendations that I could offer that I've heard is don't nurse her down (that way you aren't the sole thing that puts her to sleep) and maybe consider giving her her own comfy bed. Lorelei always sleeps so much better in her own crib with its nice firm mattress than in our bed with us moving around, the cats jumping up on the bed, people coming and going, etc. But you know your baby best and will eventually work it out. Take heart that she will sleep through the night eventually--no one graduates high school still waking up for mom every few hours (I hope!).