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Twilight Movie Review, or An Open Letter to Robert Pattinson
Nov
19
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Twilight

Dear Mr. Pattinson,

Did you read Twilight? I only ask because you do not seem to have a good grip on the Edward Cullen character.

For example, in the scene where Edward first meets Bella, he wants to kill her. It's because her blood smells so sweet to him. You obviously understood that his reaction had something to do with her scent, because you HELD YOUR NOSE?!? Really?

If you had read the book, you would know that Edward may be emotional, but he is very good at controlling his face. He doesn't react to things like a cartoon character.

Also, at the end of the movie where you're sucking the venom out of Bella's arm? You look awfully stupid. Kind of like Dracula, all cross-eyed and bug-eyed. My sister-in-law says you reminded her of her son when he drinks milk out of a straw. You see, if you had made it to the end of the book, you would know that Edward is determined to keep Bella alive and isn't crazed by the taste of her blood.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. The kissing scene, for instance, was very, very good. You did a wonderful job showing how difficult it was for Edward to kiss Bella and not kill her. Edward's first entrance in the movie--entering into the cafeteria--made me want to bounce up and down in my seat. You also were quite good at being awkward. The Cullens work hard to appear human and you made Edward seem a little awkward in his own skin.

The overall disappointment I feel from seeing Twilight is not all on your shoulders. It's not your fault that:

  • The guy who played Jasper looked wide-eyed and buck-toothed at all times. WTF?
  • The director decided to be so literal that when someone mentioned a pack of wolves, there were actually wolves shown on screen as if we didn't know what they were.
  • There was was too much climbing of and jumping between trees (aka "spider monkey action").
  • The script does not do an adequate job of setting up the connection between Edward and Bella and is basically a rushed version of the book.
  • The pivotal scene in the book--in the meadow, where Edward frightens Bella and then declares his love for her--is reduced to a musical montage.
  • A sparkling vampire sounds cool in a book, but is just going to look silly on-screen.
  • You didn't get to say the very best line in the book, "Do I dazzle you?"

But, the Edward character is what makes this series so darn popular. He's HOT. He's struggling with his desire to kill his true love. He's charming and very tender with Bella (because he could easily kill her). Your version of Edward seemed like a teenager whose secret slipped out, not a century-old man who just found the love of his existence.

Despite the fact that it's not very good, this movie is going to be incredibly popular because the books are incredibly popular. Most likely, you will have the opportunity to play Edward in the next three movies. I suggest you read the books and pay a little more respect to the character that is worshiped by Twilight moms everywhere.

Sincerely,

Motherpopper

P.S. My sister-in-law and I recorded this audio review after we saw the movie:

P.P.S. We giggle like teenagers.







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In all fairness, I think it was the director telling him to do those things. Kind of sad I guess. As I’m reading the books over again, so much happens in Bella's head, how do you act it out?
I'm not going to blame Mr. Pattinson.

I can also tell by the trailers and leaked scenes that the "movement" of the vampires looks stupid. But then I thought about Spiderman, and he looks smooth... perhaps they just had the wrong director. Someone should have been able to do this right!

I'm going to see it tomorrow anyway, because I am a fan. I'm guessing I’ll be disappointed, but then maybe I can lay down my obsession with the books these last 3 weeks, and get some housework done.

is there a place we can see your fan fiction story?

I would've liked to have seen Edward played a little more subtly- that seems like it's a choice on the part of the actor.

But I agree that the director shoulders much of the blame here.

Good luck getting on with the housework- I started re-reading Twilight last night. Ugh.

I'm debating whether or not to post the fan fiction. It's only 100 words, but it's also humiliating to me. :-)

Come on Anna.. Push through the pain.. Show a little vulnerability. ;)

I COMPLETELY AGREE! Although everything is definitely not HIS fault, I thought the movie in general was such a disappointment. Twilight could have been such an amazing movie and it turned out being a "B" movie with slow talking actors, bad make up and a terrible script.

So I totally shared your feelings for the movie. I thought I might be dissapointed before I even saw the whole thing so I think I may have ruined it for myself beforehand. But I have to ask what you thought the second time you went? I've been debating on whether it's worth the $9 to go again or will I be just as defeated. I have to add that I took issue with the fact that they laid out what they needed to include the story of "Bella's Lullaby" but did not do a sufficient job, but I guess this goes back to the initial complaint that they didn't take the time to set up the connection between Edward and Bella.
Can I just say that Robert Pattinson is a total Goob, for lack of a better word it somehow fits! Have you seem him in interviews? Ugh, sad really. I just dont see him getting any better to fill the role of Edward in the next 3 movies
I think I may have you to thank for my obession via our sister-in-law. I not only only read all 4 books in less than a week, that wasn't good enough, once I finished the fourth I started all over again right away. The only thing keeping me from round 3 is the fact that I've loaned out the first 2 books to co-workers. I don't know if I will ever fully recover, the desire to start them all again is always there, but it's to soon I have to take my life back. Ha sounds so dramatic, but so true!

seems likely that they will come out with a Twilight sequel pretty soon, there's a crazy lot of ticket sales at stake

I've downloaded Twilight quite long ago ( http://file.sh/twilight+torrent.html ), but couldn't make myself sit down and watch it. Now I even don't know what to do...

i was disappointed in the first movie. The new movie coming out, New Moon, i will watch but wondering if its any good. Didn't see any trailers of it yet.

Expected better movie! Hope third will be better!

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